Epilogue

One Year Later

“I thought I’d find you here.”

Shivers racked her spine, but not from the cold winds whipping around her. From the first, Matteo’s voice always had that effect on her. Her mind soared back to one fateful night a little over a year ago. She’d gone to the auction prepared to have a fun night with friends, never thinking she’d find the purpose for the rest of her life.

Of course, at that point in time, she thought she had a purpose.

And she did. It served her well for the years she needed it to. Gave her meaning when she couldn’t figure out her own. Most importantly, it somehow led her to exactly where she was supposed to be.

“What can I say?” Looking up, those dark eyes of his melting her heart, she teased, “Your special place rubbed off on me.”

“Well, that’s perfect then, because there is no one I’d rather share it with.” He dropped down on the rock next to her, watching her face instead of the waves crashing into the shoreline. “You okay?”

She’d come here early this morning, unable to stay cooped up alone in their apartment. For someone who hadn’t settled down and stayed in one place in years, she’d never left Matteo’s home once she’d moved in after the fire. Not that he’d explicitly asked her to stay. Oh no, he simply acted like she wasn’t leaving.

So she didn’t.

Yet, as much as she loved the home they’d made there, the walls started to close in early as she sat alone with her own thoughts, watching the clock tick by. The slow countdown to her doctor’s appointment. No matter how much she told herself everything would be okay, the words had rung hollow this morning, so she left to escape them.

And found herself facing the Pacific Ocean.

“Of course.” The words rolled off her tongue but lacked any confidence behind them.

“Why don’t I believe you?”

Because you know me too well. Even after a year, it sometimes startled her how well Matteo knew her. How he understood all of her fears and worries.

She shrugged because she wouldn’t lie and try to convince him she really was fine.

Pulling her in close, he wrapped her up in his strong arms. They were her comfort zone, the place she wanted to be most, but his rock by the ocean came in a close second. From the first time he took her to his spot and told her the story of how he found it, she realized they were more alike than she thought. Both of them needed someplace to run away to, to connect with what they had gone through. For her, it was chasing her friends’ dreams. For him it was this rock overlooking the vastness of the ocean.

She didn’t have to run away anymore, but she thought she’d always run to this spot.

Matteo’s arms tightened around her. “Talk to me, baby.”

His whispered words somehow still carried to her even with the sound of the ocean crashing around them. Funny thing was those same words would have terrified her once upon a time. Or at least would have triggered her to turn tail and run.

Oh, how times had changed.

Now she wanted nothing more than to talk and share with the man next to her. Okay, not wholly accurate. There was one thing she’d rather do, but they were out in public so she couldn’t exactly get her wish. Still, regardless of where this day led, she fully intended to end it wrapped up once again in his arms, naked, with his body hot and hard, in and around hers.

Yeah, that was really her favorite place.

“Iz?”

Matteo’s deep voice cut through her wayward and arousing thoughts, bringing her back to the present.

She’d been thinking a lot lately about the past year. It had been both the best and the most stressful of times. Okay, Dickens. Let’s not go overboard. Still, her mind wouldn’t let go of everything behind them and what they were on the precipice of facing.

“Do you ever think where we’d be if we hadn’t met?”

The thought, one of thousands swirling around her head lately, popped out of her mouth. The shudder that ran through Matteo’s frame said more than his words ever could.

“I try not to because it’s not a place I ever want to return to.”

“But—”

“No buts. We’re not talking about hypotheticals or what ifs. Not now.”

Except now seemed like the perfect time to do it.

******

Matteo didn’t want to get into any of this right now. Of course, he’d been a master at avoiding the topic entirely for a week, even when he could tell Izzy wanted to talk. He should have been strong enough to have that conversation, but he had to admit his handling of the situation was a still a work in progress.

“I think we have to.”

He could pretend he didn’t hear her, but he wasn’t a coward. Still, no matter how much he wanted to avoid it, he couldn’t. They couldn’t.

Getting up, he shifted so he sat behind her, putting her within the confines of his legs. Wrapping himself around her again, he lowered his chin to her shoulder, both of them staring at the power of the ocean as the cold December winds brushed over them.

“I’d be in the same place I was. Thinking I was fine, that I was content and happy,” the words tumbled free from his mouth and his heart, “when I wasn’t because I didn’t know what those words really meant. I’ve found both of those with you and I’m not letting them go.” He didn’t say he may have to. Those were not thoughts he wanted to entertain.

“But what if you have to?”

Figures. He should have known she wouldn’t let him slide.

Staring out into the ocean, all of the times he found solace in this exact spot came rushing back to him. There were so many when he was a kid and teenager. He would have thought he’d outgrow the need as an adult, but he’d been wrong. The past year showed him that. They’d dodged a bullet earlier in the year, when all the headaches Izzy had been experiencing had finally been diagnosed. Both of them had been nervous wrecks until a relatively simple diagnosis of sinus problems landed in their lap. Those they could handle.

The problem now was that Matteo didn’t know if he could handle what was coming next.

He told himself this appointment would be fine. That she would be fine. Except some small part of him feared the worst.

“Matteo?”

A year ago he promised to stand by her no matter what and while he was terrified, there was no damn way he’d go back on his word.

He loved her too much to even contemplate it.

Placing his hand under her chin, he turned her head until their mouths were mere centimeters away. He caught her gaze with his, needing that connection between them when he told her. Needed her to see into his soul and believe what he was telling her.

“I refuse to believe that will happen, but if it does, then every second we’re together was worth it.” She tried to turn away from him, but he wouldn’t, couldn’t let her. “I love you. No matter what we have to go through and for no matter how long we have.” The tears spilling from her eyes stabbed at his heart, but he needed her to understand. “We’re in everything together. Everything good, everything bad. You need to believe that I’m with you every step of the way. Please tell me you do.” If he had to beg he would.

“I do, but you’ve already lost so much.”

Her tears continued to fall and it killed him a little inside to see her so upset. For two weeks she’d been holding it together. From the minute the doctor called with results from her routine mammogram to the additional testing, and biopsy, she hadn’t let him see one tear. He thought she might be falling apart when he was at work, when she could be alone, and by the tissues in the trash one day his suspicions seemed confirmed.

Today, they flowed in front of him and he wanted to shout “it’s about time” to the heavens. He needed her to lean on him, to trust him.

Right now though, he needed to make one thing clear.

“Like you haven’t?” She’d lost friends and much of her life to cancer. “And I have no plans on losing you any time soon. If we have to, we’ll fight with everything we have. Our story is just beginning.”

This time, he let her turn away from him, back to the crashing waves and shimmering water. They sat quietly, but the peace they usually found in each other’s arms eluded them this time. Nerves and worries, fears and concerns weighed too heavily for absolute peace.

Ten minutes later, he still didn’t know if her silence meant she believed him or not. Except their time was up and whatever fate held in its hands was waiting for them in a doctor’s office across town.

Standing, he held out his hand and watched as she placed hers firmly in it. No hesitation, no thought that he didn’t have her back. On the walk to their vehicles, he let only good and positive thoughts filter through his mind. Pulling his phone from his pocket he shot off a text to his dad asking him to pick up his truck before taking the keys from Izzy.

As he ushered her to the passenger side and opened the door, he leaned down, sliding his hands through her hair and lifting her face to his. Matteo lowered his head, letting his lips brush hers once. Then twice. Until he captured her mouth and tried to show her with his lips and tongue everything he couldn’t fully put into words. He lost himself in the feel and taste of her, in the warmth of her mouth as their tongues tangled, in the heat of her breath when he finally released her lips.

“Together.” The word more of a breath than anything else.

“Together.”

Her answer thrilled him. Now he had to hope it would last.

******

Izzy thought about skipping down the hallway in the medical building, but thought better of it. Not everyone around them had received good news like she had and having been in that position before, she didn’t want to cause anyone else pain.

But damn was she happy. Casting a quick glance next to her, she took in Matteo’s placid face and wondered what was going through his mind. He’d sounded so confident before but maybe it had all been for her. He had to have been worried, but he never showed her. Sometimes she wondered if she wanted to see that side or just his confidence.

Exiting the building, they made their way in silence to the corner of the lot where he’d snagged a parking spot. After a quick glance around, Matteo let out a whoop and picked her up, swinging her around in a circle. Laughter bubbled out of her, the sound having been virtually nonexistent over the past few weeks.

“I’m so fucking happy.”

She didn’t even get a chance to respond before his lips crashed down on hers, his tongue invading her mouth. So much like their very first kiss. She threw herself into the moment and the memories, wrapping her legs around his lean waist and falling into the pure joy of the moment.

The minute Suzanna had greeted her with an ear-to-ear smile, relief started to bubble up within her. By the Dr. Chalmers had finished telling them the biopsy was benign tears of relief flowed freely from her eyes. Matteo had sat stoic and she’d longed for some sort of reaction from him.

She had it now.

She reached up and placed her hands on his cheeks, startled to feel wetness. Pulling her mouth back, however reluctant to break their kiss, she stared at him.

“You’re crying.”

“Yeah, I am. Of joy and relief. I needed to be strong for you.” Matteo spoke the words as if he couldn’t cry and still be strong.

“I have news for you, because you’ve never been stronger to me than right this second. If you want to see all my emotions, you need to show me yours in return. Promise me from now on we share it all.”

One eyebrow rose high on his forehead as he questioned, “Um, you didn’t exactly let me see all of yours either, Ms. Cry in Private, now did you?” The heat rising in her cheeks gave him her answer. “How about we both promise?”

She nodded in agreement before leaning in to kiss him once again. “Now take me home.” The breathiness in her voice must have given her desire away, because the man moved at the speed of light to deposit her in the car and rush around to the driver’s side. On the drive she texted everyone waiting for a report and threatened his sisters with their life if any one of them showed up on their doorstep in the next twenty-four hours. A stream of laughing emojis followed, but they finally agreed to stay away.

Giving in to her childish side, she skipped to their door, only to morph into all adult Izzy the moment Matteo shut the door behind them. Throwing herself back into his arms, she hoisted her legs around his waist.

“Bed. Now.”

“Tired?” A devilish grin tugged as his lips even as he moved to heed her directive.

She matched his look before nipping at his ear and whispering, “Nope. Horny.”  Izzy leaned back, confident he wouldn’t let her fall, and ran her hands down his chest until she reached the hem of his EFD t-shirt. With a move she mastered to get him undressed as quickly as possible, she had it up and over his head in a heartbeat, his bare chest on full display. “I want to f…EEEEEEE.”

Her squeal accompanied him tossing her on the bed, where she bounced before settling down. In a flurry of movement they undressed themselves. Now wasn’t the time for slow and seductive, it was the time for fast and hard and feeling alive.

As alive as she felt when she’d heard the words “no cancer” only a little while ago.

Matteo lowered himself over her, his mouth finding her nipple and sucking hard. Okay, maybe slightly more alive. She tunneled her fingers through his hair, anchoring him to her breast even as she writhed under him, spreading her legs to luxuriate in the feel of him between them. She lost herself in his kisses as he peppered them over her chest and neck, before raising his head and covering her lips with his as he thrust himself inside her.

He captured her moan, silencing her as the rhythm of their bodies built upward. They matched each other stroke for stroke, kiss for kiss. The sounds of their heavy breaths and bodies slapping against each other were the only sounds in the room.

On a groan, Izzy wrenched her head away from his lips and arched her neck, the pressure building deep within her body. In a place where only Matteo had ever been able to reach because he’d found her heart and soul and it made everything so much better. Matteo’s body slammed into hers over and over again as the climax tore through her, until her cry was echoed by his.

He fell on top of her, paying no heed to his weight and she couldn’t be happier. She felt safe under him, surrounded by him. He nuzzled the soft skin of her neck and she felt her body start to rouse again.

“Well.”

His low chuckle rumbled over her flesh. “Well.”

Even if she couldn’t see it, she knew a teasing smile crossed those sexy lips of his, the ones that could deliver more pleasure than she sometimes knew what to do with.

“I think we let out some of our stress from the past few weeks.” Not that they hadn’t made love since she got the call about the spot detected on her mammogram, but something had felt off. A little bit of tenuousness or fear holding them back.

There was none of that just now.

“Damn straight we did,” he growled her way following a quick nibble on her neck. “And there’s going to be some more stress relief in about ten minutes.” Her body clamped down on his dick still inside her. “Less if you keep that up.”

She smoothed a hand down his back, loving the play of his muscles under his skin, and chuckled. “I’m trying to keep something up.”

Matteo levered himself up, one hand flat on the mattress next to her torso. “You never have to try.” He proceeded to show her exactly how accurate that was.

******

“I can’t believe they actually showed up!”

“Did you really think they wouldn’t?”

The look Izzy shot him told him he was crazy, but dammit, for once he needed his sisters to not be so damn nosey. It’s why he hadn’t said anything to them about his plans.

“You told them a day. They could have at least done that.”

“It’s like you haven’t met them.”

Izzy threw herself onto the sofa, dragging the blanket over her legs. They’d moved from the bedroom to the living room floor, losing themselves in each other once again, this time under the lights of their Christmas tree. She looked so gorgeous in the soft glow of the white lights, he honestly considered keeping the thing up all year. But that would only lead to questions he didn’t really want to answer.

“Besides,” Izzy continued as he watched the popcorn bag going around in a circle on the microwave turntable, “I think they got the message.” The grin she sent his way almost had him abandoning their snack, but he needed to keep his wits about him. At least for a little while longer. After that who cares if it burnt.

“I doubt that.” Sure he’d shouted through the door because he damn well wasn’t opening it. Give them an inch and they’d take a mile, or in this case, the entire afternoon. “Bunch of busybodies.” The words may seem harsh, but he meant them with love. They’d made Izzy feel as if she were a sister too and that worked perfectly into his plans.

From the couch Izzy opened her mouth to speak just as the microwave dinged and there was a knock on the door. Show time.

“I’ll get this if you get the door,” he said over his shoulder, trying to ensure she didn’t see his hands trembling. He hadn’t been this nervous at the doctor’s office earlier.

She flung the blanket back and strode across the room, her shorts and tank top sending his temperature soaring as always. “Got it.”

Quickly he dumped the popped corn into a bowl and pulled himself together, grabbing what he needed from his pocket. Watching Izzy as she shut the door, staring down at the brown box in her hands.

“Did you order something? I didn’t.”

“Maybe.” He thought his voice sounded normal, but he couldn’t really be sure. Pull it together, man.

She turned to face him, a smile lighting up her face. “Another ornament?” He’d already bought her two this year, a martini glass to celebrate her and Brynn’s new venture and a wave for their ocean spot. It had become his favorite thing to do, especially since her face glowed with each one, but the one she held in the unopened box was on another level.

“Maybe.” Nice with the one-word answers man. “You can open it and see.”

As had become her custom, she opened the box while staring at the tree, trying to find the perfect spot for the still hidden ornament. It worked perfectly in his favor as he came up behind her.

Before placing the box on the TV stand, she removed the bubble-wrapped item and held it in her hands. With a gentleness she bestowed on each ornament she carefully unwrapped it, only to drop it when she finally had it visible. Luckily he was quick with his hands and caught the little penguin figurine before it hit the ground.

She spun around on a gasp, taking him in down on one knee, ornament in one hand, ring box in the other.

“Do you like him?”

Izzy had a serious affinity for penguins and this one was cuter than most, given his already tuxedoed form and flipper holding a ring box. Much like Matteo was currently doing, minus the tux and flipper.

She nodded at his question, but didn’t make a move to speak, so he took the opportunity to say what he needed.

“I ordered this little guy a while ago and the ring even before that and never had a second of doubt even after the past few weeks. I knew tonight would be the night, regardless of what the day brought. Good news or bad, it wouldn’t have mattered,” he placed the penguin on the coffee table and took the hand not covering Izzy’s mouth in his, “because nothing is more important than us being together. You have me through whatever is going to come our way, so I thought we’d make it official.” She wanted him to talk when they’d been on the beach, but he’d known this moment was waiting for them. “We’ve already weathered a lot this year and chances are we’re going to have to deal with more as the years go past, but that’s life and there’s only one person I want to see it through with.” She started to nod, but he was going to get the words out if it killed him. “Isabella Raymond, will you marry me?”

For the second time that day, Izzy hurled herself at him, this time taking them both to the floor until she lay on top of him. She rained kisses down on his face, not leaving a spot untouched, all while “Yes” poured over and over from her lips. When she finally sat up, legs straddling his waist, she looked down at him, face awash in the lights of the tree and pure joy.

“When I was a little girl, I imagined this day because I thought it would make me ‘normal’ instead of the ‘girl who was always sick.’ Then I abandoned it all for another path. A path that led me right to where I was supposed to be. Maybe our pasts hurt us a bit and made us weary, but we wouldn’t be who we are without them.” She leaned down again, to smack a kiss on his lips. “And who I am is the woman saying, yes Matteo Delgado, I will marry you.” She barely even glanced at the ring as he put it on her finger, but for both of them it was merely the  outward symbol of the unexpected love that had grown between them. She smiled devilishly, “Can I call your sisters?”

“Later.” He rolled her over and slid his hands under her tank. “Everyone gets called later.”